The ebb and flow of life

Today, I went to the memorial service for a dear friend's mother. Her mom was a great lady whom I had the privledge of getting to know a bit in recent years. She passed earlier this week after a very courageous battle with cancer. Last week, another dear friend said goodbye to her mother who suffered from Alzheimer's for ten years or so. I went the visitation, but had to miss that funeral. Funerals and memorials always remind me of my father's death nearly 4 years ago, and it's bitter sweet to walk alongside a friend taking a similar journey.

In the midst of the sorrow, there is the beauty of a family gathering and putting aside their differences and their daily lives to remember and honor their loved one. This is such a profound thing to witness. When my father died, I felt like I returned to childhood briefly and yet I aged all at the same time.

The sense of God's presence is so strong in these moments. For those who have put their trust in Jesus and know the love of Father God, there is hope. TRUE HOPE. While there was sadness and a sense of loss today, there was also a pervading sense of peace.

There is also such healing that takes place on so many levels, even though a person may not have been healed physically as so many had prayed for. My friend told me that even as her mom's body grew weaker and weaker, her spirit seemed to grow stronger and stronger. They knew she was ready when it was her time to go, and they too were able to let her go.

For me, I found it a great honor today to help coordinate and deliver dinner at the family home after all they went through today. You see, when my dad died, everything was happening across the country. I had been there for his last moments, but then had to return to care for my 2 month old nursing infant. We delayed his memorial for about 10 days so I could pull things together and pack up our family of five to fly cross country again. I was not able to be with my sister and brother and plan the things that needed to be planned with them, which was extremely difficult at that time. This past summer, my husband's grandmother (who had been a second mother to him) died and he made the journey home to be with family without me. It just cost too much for all five of us to fly cross country again. Once again, I was unable to do anything to help and felt sort of stuck here at a time when I wanted to be with loved ones to walk through the process of saying goodbye with them.

So today became an opportunity for me. I got to participate with this family and do something to help when they needed it. It was a very powerful healing experience for me, which brought the other experiences full circle.

I don't mean for this to be a downer, but life is more than witty remarks or observations, or me recounting what the kids are up to. I turn 40 in two days and don't want to take anything for granted. I am grateful for beauty even though it may be mixed with pain in the ebb and flow of life.